Shadow Desires: from Caterpillar Into SkyDancer

Shadow Desires: from Caterpillar Into SkyDancer

An excerpt from The Radiant Queens Mastermind

Are you doing it out of shadow, or are you doing it out of pure desire? If you’re doing it out of shadow, you’re doing it out of fear, or wanting to please. You’re doing it out of the child, the prostitute, the victim, or the saboteur, which are all archetypes. It is very important to feel into, ‘Am I doing this out of my shadows or am I doing this out of my sovereign way?’ Out of love, true desires, and true identity.

No mud no lotus. Like the lotus, may be at ease in muddy waters.

When we talk about our past life, that’s what you grew up in— in the mud. You were enmeshed. You were born into a family, there was enmeshment, and it’s just normal. There’s all the socio-cultural conditioning, there are all these expectations, there’s a chronic vibratory frequency that you grew up in that you started that you unconsciously inherit and absorb.

However, there comes a point in time where you break through the surface, and you begin a new act of your life, like a new chapter where you can bloom like the lotus, which is untouched and at ease in muddy waters, and it’s pure no matter what. It naturally repels negativity and it uses all of that old past stuff as compost, as fuel for its rising and it’s blossoming. So, it doesn’t completely disown it, it alchemizes it and utilizes it. And so everything that comes your way, see how you can use it.

When triggers come, like I’m like, ‘Ah, interesting! A trigger. That’s showing me that I still have a shadow, which means I can mine that shadow, go into that dark, and alchemize it into gold.’

I wanted to share with you one of my favorite poems:

Inside this new love, die.
Your way begins on the other side.

Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.


Walk out like somebody suddenly born into color.

Do it now.
You’re covered with thick cloud.
Slide out the side.

and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign
that you’ve died.

Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.

The speechless full moon
comes out now.

— Rumi

As we enter this new chapter, this New Year, and launch this mothership, I encourage you to die in this new love for yourself and let the old things just die away.

When a caterpillar begins his life, he’s crawling around and spending all his time eating and crawling in the dirt. He just lives his caterpillar life he meanders along and eats and eats and eats all day. And then something in his DNA, his genetic blueprint feels called to something more.

And so, the caterpillar goes out and finds a safe place where it can relax, a safe container, and spins this chrysalis, this cocoon around itself until it feels totally safe. And then, it literally, completely dies and dissolves. Nothing is left, it’s just this essence. Just essence. And then it slowly rebuilds itself for its next evolution.

And it has these wings on its back, and it has to break its way out of this cocoon now what was once safe now is too small and deinfed. It needs to break it, and it needs to pump it up itself out and struggle, and struggle to get out, and then it starts a whole new life where the sky is his domain,— it becomes a sky dancer, a butterfly.

The struggle is necessary so that you can build your wings for your new life, and your new life will look completely unrecognizable from your old life in a lot of ways. That’s normal.

But a lot of times out of misguided loyalty, we cut our own wings. We don’t unfurl our own wings because we might lose love, or we might lose approval, or we might lose the acceptance of the tribe, of our families of our communities, and so we don’t unfurl our beautiful wings. We don’t leave the ground, we don’t leave the dirt.

And in this course, I am wanting to encourage you to let yourself die. Then you build yourself and embrace the struggles that are giving you the wisdom and the strength that you need for the journey, and become the sky dancer that you are.View The Radiant Queens Mastermind >>

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